In the past there were times when I thought that I knew everything I needed to know. And if I accidentally bumped into something that I thought I needed to know everything about and didn’t, or missed some detailed information on, I went out of my way to find the missing pieces. Or I just convinced myself that after some inquiries I knew everything there was to know about it. Problem solved. Because it really was a problem. Not knowing, not having all the information, that just equaled to not being in control. And being in control was everything.
Now, I realize, the older I get the less I know–and the less I want to know. Not knowing and not wanting to know is a relief. I don’t need to have an explanation for every situation, for everything that happens, for everything that people say or do. It just is. That doesn’t necessarily mean I am not in control. I just care less about it. Control is optional, not a prerequisite.
And since that is my starting point, I get to learn so much more. All the stuff I thought was real, was the truth, was set in stone, is now open to debate. Or rather, it doesn’t need to be debated. The thing is, if I debate it, collect information on it, form an opinion about it, I run the risk of thinking that that what I am looking at that particular moment in time is the only truth. And when that is my starting point, I will only want to defend and hold my position on the subject. After all, I did all the work. So, I know, right?
No, I don’t.
Over the (last couple of) years, I have come to realize that I should consider the possibility of the (co)existence of multiple truths. I don’t have to discard the things I know, I don’t have to abandon the stuff I hold true, I just have to make room for other truths, for the things that matter to others. Regardless of the fact that that other truth may clash with mine.
Now, am I done with this? In reaching this point, this insight, is this it? Hah… Not by a long shot. I need to study this further and I have to keep on confronting myself with ‘inconvenient truths’. And who knows, maybe I’ll even write a little more about it, right here.